Introduction
We had crazy weather here over the weekend, a Rolling Stone article came out over the weekend headlined “Trump White House Pressured Disney to Censor Jimmy Kimmel,” we go through the many nicknames Jimmy has given Donny over the years to see what could have possibly gotten under his skin, the whole thing is especially hypocritical coming from someone who claims to be a bigly anti-censorship defender of free speech, you can really start to feel the excitement for the Oscars in two weeks, we have three sexiest men alive here at the show tonight, Adidas has over $500 million worth of backstock Yeezys that they don’t know what to do with, our local weather reporters in LA got very excited about the snow over the weekend, and since even the mundane moments of daily life can be stressful we are grateful that there is help from where god intended us to get it, a bottle.
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About Jimmy Kimmel Live:
Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy®-nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” is well known for its huge viral video successes, with over 15 billion views and more than 18 million subscribers on the show’s YouTube channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” “Lie Witness News,” “Unnecessary Censorship,” “Halloween Candy YouTube Challenge,” and music videos like “I (Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum.”
Content
Foreign I want to apologize to our, um, our visitors from other towns.
We had, uh, I hope we I hope you had a good week.
We had some crazy.
Crazy weather here.
I, woke up on Sunday, a huge piece of lattice had flown off my roof and onto my car.
And that wasn't, even the number one weirdest thing that happened I had like 80 texts when I woke up sending me this article from Rolling Stone.
It says, uh, Trump, White, House, pressured, Disney to censor Jimmy Kimmel.
Now Disney is the company that owns ABC, our Network and Jimmy Kimmel is me.
So obviously I was interested in seeing what it was.
But according to the story in 2018 Donald Trump, who was at that time, president of the United States was so upset about my jokes that I made about him.
He directed his staffers at the White House to call Disney to tell them to Reign me in the report says at least two calls were made from the Trump White House to quote, convey the president's anger regarding Kimmel's monologues and gems.
In other words, president Karen demand to speak to my manager.
You think you'd think but I guess not the article says news of these calls spread around the corridors of power in Washington.
Wow.
What a plot twist the first time Donald Trump ever tries to stop someone from talking about him on television and it's me, usually when he wants somebody to stop talking about him, he pays them a hundred thirty thousand dollars.
But he wanted me to do it for nothing I wonder what it was specifically that sparked this his uh, Trumper, tantrum I wonder what it was he found so objectionable I, don't know, maybe it was the time I had Stormy Daniels, look at a plate of carrots and to size them up.
And she picked a little one.
Maybe it was one of the nicknames.
Uh, I, went it's going through, uh, like uh, Tani soprano, goes for dumbass.
Emperor, palpatini.
Hands, Mar, alardo, King, tutankon.
Man, the hydroxy Horror, Picture, Show pumpkin, the corn Humper crab ass, Grandpa, Orange, Julius, Caesar, colludicrous, flavios, Freddy, Krueger, the tandalorian driver, Woods cured.
On dictator.
Talk give me I only have I only have a hundred more.
Okay.
Quick.
Pro comb over I'll.
Go scam fibrace.
The one Terminator chocolate Mussolini, YMCA hole, the recount of Monte Cristo, daddy, bone, spurs or George, Washington, Maybe, wow, what a fragile Little Snowflake, what a blow heart he's, a blowhard and a snowflake he's.
A blowflake is what he is.
He should change the hats to say make America wine again, Mawa.
Because when you think of all, the people I regularly make fun of it's a lot of people.
The only two who tried to stop me are Donald Trump and Marjorie Taylor green who actually called the cops on me.
I made I made fun of OJ a thousand times.
He hasn't tried to kill me once.
And this guy Donald Trump.
All he does is make fun of he makes fun of disabled journalists.
He makes fun.
He calls our veterans prisoners of of War even losers.
He insults his opponents his friends, his family.
But if I point out that he's so fat, they renamed the plain Air, Force, Wonder, Bread, I'm.
The bad guy, I, don't know, it's, maybe you know what? Maybe this is why Donald and Melania sleep in separate bedrooms.
She was laughing, too hard at my monologue at night, they're really joking aside.
This is a what had a blatant abuse of power I wonder if Fox News, you know, they're always screaming about censoring comedians, will they defend me on this I doubt it we have a First Amendment right that Americans a hell of a lot braver than Donald Trump died for and especially hypocritical coming from someone who claims to be the biggest anti-censorship defender of free speech today, I'm directing, my Administration to explore all Regulatory and legislative solutions to protect free speech.
And the Free Speech rights of all Americans we're here today to discuss protecting Americans from censorship.
We will uphold the right of free speech.
We as a country cannot tolerate political censorship.
We will always always protect Free Speech.
The censorship and bias is a threat to Freedom itself.
Free speech is a Bedrock of American life.
We believe in free speech, censorship, Free Speech, censorship, Free Speech censorship, believe it or not I'm one that really likes Free Speech.
You can't have censorship.
You can't pick one person and say, well, we don't like what he's been saying he's out it's, very interesting again, it's, almost like it's, almost like he's a hypocrite.
You know, you know what else is a shame Jim Jordan just had his big Congressional hearing on the weaponization of the federal government and I couldn't be there to testify about a president of the United States who abused his authority to silence, someone who disagrees with him and tried to muzzle Free, Speech, I'm.
So sorry, Jim I would have been happy to help with that and as for Trump.
But you know, if you want to come on the show to tell me to be quiet yourself, we still have that arcade claw machine that my pillow guy got in you've been climb inside and say, whatever's on your delicate little mind.
Okay, we're now less than two weeks away from uh, the Oscars, the Oscars are on Sunday March 12th here on ABC and I, tell you you can really feel the excitement starting to build this year's Oscars will now feature a crisis team in case, Will Smith shows up again, Academy Awards is scheduled for March 12th.
Jimmy Kimmel will host this year.
It means it's gonna suck you don't have to watch it.
Just watch me on Monday and then make fun of it together.
Well, he said, it's going to suck I.
Think he missed that? Huh? I, don't know, that's, not very open-minded.
Man.
Okay.
Maybe you don't like me.
But what about Kate blanchett's hauntingly, beautiful, portrayal of a lesbian Orchestra conductor in the three-hour German and English drama.
Tar you're only cheating yourself.
Okay, tonight on this show we have, uh, not one.
But two of people Magazine's sexiest men alive, who is the sketchiest in 2020.
and Blake Shelton, who was sexiest man alive in 2017.
And technically there were three sexiest men alive.
If you count my cover of Costco connection magazine, that's that's, which is so I think that's.
A record either way, stay tuned for sexy.
Tonight Kanye West has been uh out of the spotlight for a couple of months.
Now, Adidas parted ways with Kanye in October.
And now they're stuck with 500 million dollars worth of back stock Yeezys.
These are Yeezys that they're planning to sell, but they promised not to profit off, yay in his shoes after his anti-semitic tirade.
So Adidas now has to figure out what to do with all of these shoes.
One of the options is to burn them, which I don't seems like burning a pile of shoes is historically, a bad look for Germany in general.
The other option would be to donate them to disaster relief organizations to help people in places like turkey and Syria I, don't know, it's a it's a it's, a tough call.
What would Jesus do in this situation I want to choose is that they look like well this.
So, um, they look like what happens if you put a pair of crots in the microwave? Maybe they do is they tie all the shoes together make a giant raft and then push Kanye out to see on it on you on a Far West Valley, where he lives, they had more than 10 inches of rain over the weekend.
Um, we my house we just keep getting the leaks repaired it rains.
It leaks.
We get it fixed.
They say, okay, it's all good.
Now then four months later, rains, again, and we got buckets all over the floor and all this it even snowed here this weekend, which is all actually very exciting for our local weather.
People who really never get to report anything ever is in Wrightwood with our continuing storm coverage.
Christy, yeah, you know, I'm, sorry, I, can't, hear you probably could see what's going on behind me, there's somebody doing donuts in this stuff watching apparently, but I can tell you he's some snow flurries.
And enough of it has fallen that is starting to accumulate here on the ground.
Yeah, that's.
What we want to look at the ground while we don't want to not the uh monster truck from Star Wars doing snow Donuts.
We want to look at the ground.
We are not prepared for rain here.
We just don't know what to do when it happens.
So what we do do is we just drive around like there's, nothing unusual happening at all.
This is to Hollywood Burbank.
Airport, nearly a dozen cars were stuck in the water as they tried to make it across the road.
This driver, this Porsche became stranded on the roof of his convertible after he got stuck in the flood waters on the five freeway.
Take a look as this RV just slides into the river at the Valencia Travel Village RV resort to other RVs, went straight into the Santa, Clara, River, isn't.
It great that we have video of everything.
Now in the old days, when you you lose your RV and have nothing to show for it is everything.
Okay at your house camera.
Yeah, we we lost the power for like two or three hours.
Oh, you had no power.
Yes, you have a generator.
No, we went across the street with the neighbors.
They do have one.
Oh, the neighbors had, oh, the neighbors had to generate, yeah, and they let us stay for a couple hours.
Now are you gonna get a generator? Yeah, I'm planning to yes, you are okay.
And then, but the neighbors will come over to your house.
Yeah.
So, yeah, it's.
Okay, it's.
Okay.
All right, you know, nothing's, easy anymore, even the mundane moments of daily life can be very stressful.
And so that's.
Why I am so grateful to get help not from a a friend or a neighbor or a therapist, but rather from where God intended us to get it from a bottle.
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